practice THREE

I will stop comparing my best with your worst.

I don’t have the time to get to know every person I encounter in the course of my daily life. So thank goodness I have a handy little device at my disposal that helps me know how to deal with just about anyone I come across: stereotypes. Yes, stereotypes are a real time-saver!
— The Onion

Not seeing something that appears obvious to someone else is not, in and of itself, a moral failing.

While listening to another person describe what they see, it may dawn on us that, just as they’re not seeing what we see, we’re not seeing what they see.

Which is a useful reminder that what two individuals see depends in part on where they’re standing — and raises the possibilities that 1) neither may have a perfectly unobstructed view, and 2) one may have a clearer view or a better angle than the other.


3 Practice Circles routinely close with an invitation to thank someone in the circle. People often express gratitude for the courteous, thought-provoking questions they were asked. And some go a step farther — like the man who ended his thank-yous by saying, “I realized during this group that I sometimes think things are facts that might not actually be facts at all. I need to think about that more.”

In effect, what that’s saying is, “Let me come stand where you’re standing, and see if I see the same thing. And then we’ll talk about it.”

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The third practice replaces pretentious certainty with modest exploration.